As we celebrate World Breastfeeding Week, breastfeeding counsellor and author of The Breastfeeding Survival Guide, Danielle Facey, shares how she’s preparing to breastfeed her second baby, and everything she wishes she'd known before starting her journey with her first.
Better known to many as @thebreastfeedingmentor, Danielle is a trusted parenting voice who has built an online community of more than 315,000 followers. With a background in psychology and years supporting families through the realities of feeding, she’s known for guidance that is warm, evidence-based and refreshingly honest, meeting mothers where they actually are, rather than where the parenting books say they should be.
Her approach is rooted in a simple belief: that mothers deserve support that honours both their baby’s needs and their own.
Here, Danielle shares how she’s preparing differently for her second breastfeeding journey, not in pursuit of getting it "right" this time, but with more knowledge, better support and greater self-compassion. Plus, she’s picked out the breastfeeding essentials she believes can help make those early days feel a little easier.
Everything I’m doing to prepare to breastfeed my second baby (that I wish I’d known the first time)
There’s a particular kind of grief that comes with a breastfeeding journey that didn’t go the way you hoped. Not dramatic, not always named - just a quiet ache when you think about what you didn’t know and what might have been different if you had.
I’ve sat with that grief. Processed it. And now, pregnant with my second baby, I’m doing something with it.
This isn’t about doing it “right” this time. It’s about going in informed, resourced and kinder to myself than I was before. Here’s exactly what I’m doing to prepare and why.
Harvesting colostrum from 37 weeks
I tried this with my first baby. Attempted it once or twice, felt like I was doing it wrong, decided I was failing and stopped, feeling crestfallen. Would I be able to breastfeed at all? Why wasn't I leaking colostrum like so many of the other mothers at the antenatal group?
What I didn’t understand then was the role oxytocin plays in the process. Colostrum harvesting isn’t just a mechanical task. It requires a relaxed, unhurried nervous system. The hormone that releases your milk is the same one that needs calm to flow. When I was tense and self-critical, I was physiologically working against myself.
And oxytocin doesn’t just matter for harvesting. It matters for everything that comes after, too.
If my baby doesn’t latch in those first hours or first days, I now know exactly what to do. I hold him skin-to-skin. His chest against mine, his heartbeat close, that newborn scent that is somehow completely overwhelming and completely grounding at the same time. I drink it in. Recklessly. Deliberately. Because all of that triggers oxytocin. And oxytocin is what tells my body to let milk flow. Whether that milk goes directly into him or into a pump, my body needs that signal. That closeness isn’t just comfort. It’s biology. It could genuinely be the difference between my milk coming in and it not. That’s not a small thing.
This time, I’m starting colostrum harvesting at 37 weeks with patience built in from the beginning. I’m treating it as a practice, not a test. And I’m carrying this oxytocin knowledge with me into whatever those first hours look like, however they unfold. Please consult with your healthcare provider to check that harvesting colostrum is safe for you.
Taking a manual pump to the hospital
Manual breast pumps are chronically underrated in conversations about breastfeeding preparation, and I genuinely don’t know why.
They give you precise control over speed, over pressure, over the whole experience, in the palm of your hand. No power source. No setup. No waiting for a hospital-grade machine to become available on a busy postnatal ward.
This time I’m taking the Elvie Wave with me. It’s the most discreet manual pump I’ve come across and having something familiar and effective in my birth bag means I’m not dependent on whatever equipment happens to be available on the day.
Nursing and/or pumping around the clock in the early days
If there’s one thing I know with absolute certainty from both my training and my own experience, it’s this: those first few hours and days are pivotal for establishing milk supply.
Milk production works on supply and demand. The more frequently the breast is stimulated, whether by a baby nursing, a pump or hand expression, the stronger the hormonal signal to produce. Gaps in those early days can mean gaps in supply later.
Last time, I was fortunate enough to have hands-on support from the only lactation-trained midwife on the ward. She was brilliant, but she was also one person covering 200 mothers. I can’t rely on even that level of support being available again.
This time, I’m going in knowing the plan myself. Nurse and/or pump strategically, at times that suit my body, my baby and our breastfeeding journey. I’ll be using my pump as a tool to empower and facilitate breastfeeding, rather than it being something to which I feel tied.
Skin-to-skin first, latch second
If my baby isn’t able to latch straight away, for whatever reason, that doesn’t mean breastfeeding is over before it’s begun.
He can be fed via syringe or feeding cup using the colostrum I’ve collected - which is exactly what Elvie’s Colostrum Collecting Kit is designed for - while we figure out nursing together, without pressure and without the clock running.
This matters because the narrative around latching can be so all-or-nothing. Either the baby latches perfectly in the golden hour, or something has gone wrong. That’s not true, and it’s a framing that has derailed many breastfeeding journeys unnecessarily. A baby who is fed, warm and close to their mother while nursing is established is not a breastfeeding failure. That’s a mother doing exactly what needs to be done.
Having my IBCLC on hand before I need her
I have a local IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant) I trust, and she already knows I’m expecting.
This might sound like a small thing, but it’s actually one of the most significant pieces of preparation I’ve done. In-person lactation support is the single most effective intervention for breastfeeding outcomes, more than any app, any course or any piece of equipment. Having that relationship established before birth means I’m not searching for someone under duress at 3am in week one. I know who to call. She knows my history. We have a head start.
If you’re pregnant and don’t yet have an IBCLC you’re connected to, I’d encourage you to look into it now, before you need it.
What I know now that I didn’t know then
The difference between preparing for my first breastfeeding experience and preparing for my second isn’t really about products or protocols. It’s about understanding. Knowing why things matter, not just what to do but what’s actually happening physiologically when I do them, changes everything.
It changes how I’ll respond when things feel uncertain. It changes how I’ll speak to myself when something is harder than expected. And it changes what I’ll reach for when I need support.
If you’re preparing to breastfeed, for the first time or the fifth, I hope something here is useful.
The breastfeeding essentials I’ll be reaching for, and why
The Elvie Wave Manual Breast Pump
• Completely hands-free and tube-free, this sits discreetly inside your bra so you can pump while doing almost anything!
• Wearable and silent, so you can express milk while looking after your other children, working, or simply having a cup of tea in peace – a game-changer for busy mums and those returning to work.
• Elvie Wave takes the stress out of pumping by letting it fit around your life, rather than your life stopping for it.
Nursing Pillow
• A proper nursing pillow is one of the most underrated feeding essentials: it saves your back, shoulders and arms during those long early feeds when you’re holding baby for hours a day.
• Brings baby up to the breast at the right height, which supports a comfortable latch and position that can make a big difference for both of you.
• Doubles up brilliantly for tummy time and propping baby as they grow, so it earns its place well beyond the newborn stage.
Nursing Cover
• For mums who feel more comfortable with a little privacy, a good nursing cover lets you feed confidently wherever you are, without a second thought.
• The best ones are breathable and lightweight, so baby stays cool, and you can still see each other, because feeding is about connection, not hiding.
• Entirely a personal choice: some mums love one, some never reach for it - but having the option can make those early outings feel far less daunting.
Muslins
• The unsung hero of early parenthood! You will never regret owning too many. Buy more than you think you need, then a few more, just to be safe.
• Endlessly useful: burping, mopping up, a light cover, a comforter, a clean surface, mid-feed leaks - they do everything.
• Soft, breathable and washable, so they’re gentle on newborn skin and survive the constant laundry cycle of those early weeks, too.
This post was created in partnership with Elvie. All opinions and experiences are my own.
